Limbo

My Dad is now in a facility for people with dementia or alzheimers. My Mom was very undecided about moving him from home and I was looking into a service that would send out aids at night but before that could happen we had a crisis with him and the matter was taken out of our hands. I don’t want to go into details but my Mother finally realized that she could no longer take care of him.

He’s in a very nice place that’s been open less than a month. All of it is locked so the patients can’t get out. You need a code to open doors into the units. You can see that’s needed when you come upon patients roaming the halls looking for a door to exit so they can go home. It’s very common for them to want to go home for the first days or weeks. My Dad did too. Some days he is very sleepy and some days very active and each day seems to be different so far.

The staff is really nice and are very warm and welcoming to family all sort of jumping in for what ever is needed. We are slowly starting to know the patients who are there. There’s a little oriental woman who doesn’t talk much but seems to be in constant movement always walking, picking up things, cleaning, just always busy. In the room across from my Dad is an ex Navy man, as is my Dad. He asked me to show him the door so he could go home. Another man walked into my Dad’s room to “help” me with him. My Mom was there and thought the man was staff because he seemed in charge but realized that he was a patient when he took off his shoes and socks. He didn’t want to leave Dad’s room. It turned out he was only 50 and was a former airline pilot. He couldn’t talk any sense at all. I asked him his name and he couldn’t answer me and he said he wasn’t married but he is. My Dad is 90 so even though he is suffering from dementia and Parkinson’s, he has lived a full and long life but this man probably has 20 to 30 years to go. So sad.

So it does sort of feel like being in limbo not sure of what the next thing will be and how much Dad will be with us. He looks older each day and sleeps a lot. At least we have peace of mind where he is and I don’t have to worry about Mom trying to get him up if he falls or just dealing with the dementia. Now we wait.

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